tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19758534159097630492024-03-04T22:52:59.542-08:00Que-Tips: Lessons from Marriage, Divorce, Motherhood and LifeI am a divorced mother of three who tries to do way too much with what I have. I have learned a lot through this tumultuous journey called life. I hope to make you laugh, cry and not take things too seriously.Come along for the ride, and don't be afraid to let me know what you think!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-52833788829357275852018-07-26T21:41:00.001-07:002018-07-26T21:43:24.673-07:00<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>It’s Our Anniversary…Sort of</b></span></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-f3abe17e-d9fb-7417-06b0-515caf362e62" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCA6kfkw6oYxhbnQVsr9JpzSadoOnkAqR7hvlh1Eop6tIZKuPA2-XcsYE996t5RGjQRSIge67gYijeRlU5uHPCJKmdjj_Bk5uAJCc3Qel4Pt_u6qjlT0rpn2OSPq9CeasIUQswfMcmLeyc/s1600/Image-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1334" data-original-width="750" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCA6kfkw6oYxhbnQVsr9JpzSadoOnkAqR7hvlh1Eop6tIZKuPA2-XcsYE996t5RGjQRSIge67gYijeRlU5uHPCJKmdjj_Bk5uAJCc3Qel4Pt_u6qjlT0rpn2OSPq9CeasIUQswfMcmLeyc/s400/Image-1.jpg" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Anniversary Facebook posts.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Today, Stoney and I woke up to some Facebook memories that caught us off guard. On this day, July 26, in 2003, Stoney and I were married. My “memories” page was littered with posts wishing each other a happy anniversary. It reminded us both of the sweet words recited at our wedding, the turn-up that followed at the reception and the three additions that now dub us as The Jackson 5.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">But in 2011, we were separated... and officially divorced in 2012. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">After our divorce, the anniversary date still rolled around... conjuring up bittersweet memories of a life that was, at the time, part of my past. Some anniversaries brought laughs, others tears. Either way, the memories were undeniably emotional. And even though we have been reconciled for a little over three years now, I still couldn’t help but feel a type of loss for that anniversary that doesn’t get celebrated anymore. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">A litany of “what ifs” ran through my mind. What if we were never divorced? Would we be having a huge anniversary party tonight? Would people look at us with admiration for having made it this long? Would we have an awesome success story to share?</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">What’s ironic is that when we were together the first time, I don’t feel we ever really made an impact on anyone’s life. But, now that we have weathered a pretty tumultuous storm to get back together, we’ve been able to share our story and give people in similar situations an outlet. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">In my opinion having an outlet is key to moving forward. Having someone to talk to, share, cry with, is so important and yet so difficult. Why? Because we live Facebook/Instagram lives. On social media, everything is coming up roses or everything is perfect, lest ye be judged. And no one wants to deal with the added pressure of being ridiculed or side-eyed while they’re going through a difficult time in their personal lives. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">With me, what you see is what you get. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, text, IM, Skype, I’m always the same. I do that mainly because I have three kids, and I don’t have enough energy to create a false reality for myself. But also, I think being real is lacking these days. People go through trying times, pain, divorce, addiction. That’s reality. And coming out on the other side of those events are the real success stories.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Reconciling is our own version of a success story. No, it wasn’t pretty. A lot of marriages and divorces aren’t. Yes, it takes work...daily. No one tells you that at the bridal shower. There will be times that you want to or do actually leave. You are not alone.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">And I think that’s what people need to hear. Life happens, especially if you’re married with children. There always seems to be a challenge waiting just around the bend. But you’re not alone. In my situation, infidelity was not only painful, but embarrassing. I felt like I was on an island by myself. And after talking with Stoney about this in the course of reconciling, I can tell you that he felt the same way. But the more I shared my story, the more I ran into men and women who were battling their own marital challenges and just needed someone who they could feel comfortable enough to share their pain with. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">We need to give ourselves and others a break and recognized that life, especially marriage, will come with its shit storms. Anyone who tells you differently is lying.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Our “success” story is a little unconventional. We’re still divorced, and there are still challenging consequences to both of our actions. But I would say that sharing our story has helped more people than any anniversary story would. So, in the right circumstance, don’t be afraid to be real and share the good and the bad. You don’t know who you will help or free by showing your vulnerability.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-43037421320777434042017-07-06T10:18:00.000-07:002017-07-06T12:04:56.089-07:00<br />
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What A Girl Wants</div>
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“Reese is upset with you,” Stoney tells me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Why?” I asked, a little surprised. I usually know when
she’s mad at me because, in true girl fashion, she can’t disguise it. It’s
written all over her face. Most times, I don’t care because she’s done
something to deserve my anger. But this time, I hadn’t done anything. I hadn’t
banned YouTube for the day. I hadn’t taken Jack or Wes’ side over hers. I was
clueless. What could I have possibly done?<o:p></o:p></div>
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“She told me that she really feels like you don’t love her
as much as the boys,” explains Stoney. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Eye roll. You have GOT to be kidding me? I don’t love her?
If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t break my neck and bank account with select
soccer and all the trimmings, birthday parties, play dates, trinkets, toys and
the list goes on and on. I try to make it to every function at school, no
matter how ridiculous the time for working moms. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m killing myself here. But I don’t love you?!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Well,” Stoney interrupts my rant,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“maybe that’s not what she needs.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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But that’s what I needed. You see, I grew up with a mother
constantly telling me she loved me. Yet, I felt like she never really showed
it. Most know that mother battled a long addiction to painkillers until she
passed away a few years ago. After it became a pronounced problem for her, she
never made it to games, never hosted sleepovers, never went to parent
conferences, reviewed spelling words, bought costumes for camp…none of that.
So, my plan was and is to be as present as I can for my kiddos. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But Reese is making me reevaluate what present means, at
least for her. Yea, I’ve read the mommy blogs that emphasize spending times
with your kids, but who has time for that. We are busy doing and going. But I’m
learning that busy kids don’t mean happy kids.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m realizing that Reese, as well as the boys, want more of
my time outside of racing around from event to event. While I’m worried about
their brains turning to mush from video games or muscle atrophy because they’ve
spent five minutes without physical activity, they just want to chill. <o:p></o:p></div>
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If I ask the boys what they want to do, the simultaneous
response would be, “I don’t know.” Reese, however, doesn’t really have a
problem expressing herself. She tells me exactly what she wants to do… get a
pedicure, go shopping, go get sushi (yes, she's bougie). She’s been telling me she wants more of me,
but I guess I haven’t been listening. And when she gets "all in her feelings," I just write it off as her flair for the dramatic arts. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Have I been wrong? Don't answer that, Stoney.</div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the end of my mom’s life, our relationship was less than
ideal. I hate to admit that we had many arguments rooted in the fact that I
didn’t think she cared. I felt like her love for me should have trumped any love she felt for prescription drugs. I should have come first. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want to repeat the same mistake with my
daughter. Her love language doesn't necessarily mean being a part of every activity known to man. She just wants a little me time. Now, I can’t promise that we’re going to make cookies every Saturday
afternoon, or rewatch Beauty and Beast ad nauseum every Sunday night. But I am going to make a conscious effort to spend more quality time
and ensure a quality mother-daughter relationship. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-88934637234632219372017-01-27T13:36:00.000-08:002017-01-27T13:36:34.421-08:00<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Finding Time for the Adult-Only Vacation<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOFuD0rMsh2EDlbOl5ktvR2MYEztV2HTjqlHNEOw9Zf3Dv3ivJrny4b1sWTWTx7tpom7UtBO5XRjZCtAuR-BSBAKI9FRBsinKVvvJMuk3akBwgAIoCzSnItHDy2gd0n_SLuXkZhb7-e5o3/s1600/Stoney+and+LaQuenda.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOFuD0rMsh2EDlbOl5ktvR2MYEztV2HTjqlHNEOw9Zf3Dv3ivJrny4b1sWTWTx7tpom7UtBO5XRjZCtAuR-BSBAKI9FRBsinKVvvJMuk3akBwgAIoCzSnItHDy2gd0n_SLuXkZhb7-e5o3/s200/Stoney+and+LaQuenda.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little adult time</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been dreaming about it for years. Me, on an island,
sitting on the beach, drinking something out of a pineapple, and enjoying the
wind and waves. Stoney is close by summoning the waiter to refill said drink in
pineapple. I don’t know who is more scantily clad, me or Stoney, but either
way, sun’s out, guns out, baby!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the
adult-only, couple’s vacation, and it has eluded us for several years now. I
travel for work, plan vacations for the kids, even had a girl trip or two, but
Stoney and I haven’t been on a vacation alone together since…well, our
honeymoon. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Houston. We have a problem.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most know that Stoney is my ex-husband/boyfriend. When we
first discussed reconciling, we talked about what we thought went wrong. He
believed I didn’t pay enough attention to him. I believed that taking care of our
three children was a way of giving him attention. Round and round we went, but
we kept ending up in the same spot. We didn’t spend time with each other
anymore. Just the two of us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrmmGZtqvR__3VI_DShL79pWX7bjQKMW4XKNmCWL3GM9XdksgU2Wxz_Y8uhZGGcpHsEgPAM5Ccmbdl06YmcqY1VlHMBBDvE6DRDwf9h8S1_tHBV5jLsfWq4BJbZLCrA6i6JNg_ri4ty7OA/s1600/washington+trip.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrmmGZtqvR__3VI_DShL79pWX7bjQKMW4XKNmCWL3GM9XdksgU2Wxz_Y8uhZGGcpHsEgPAM5Ccmbdl06YmcqY1VlHMBBDvE6DRDwf9h8S1_tHBV5jLsfWq4BJbZLCrA6i6JNg_ri4ty7OA/s200/washington+trip.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our family trip to D.C.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Any couple will tell you that the dynamics of a marriage
change drastically when children enter the picture. The focus shifts from
marriage to parenting. And if anyone survives the first year of that first
child without seeing dead people due to sleep deprivation, you should call that
a win. But in the midst of all the organized chaos that is parenthood, there
are still expectations to be a couple. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s only one problem. Ain’t nobody got time for that!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our three kids have us running in three different directions
every day of the week. I can’t remember the last time I showered without interruption,
much less had time to take an uninterrupted weekend off. By the time I finish
writing down the instructions for the innocent victim who agreed to keep them,
I would need to take a nap. Who is going to take them everywhere they need to
go?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who’s going to be at their beck and
call whenever they need something? Who is going to take care of them like I
take care them?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No one. And, I’m going to have to learn that it’s okay.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The kids will be fine while we’re gone, right? No, they
probably won’t shower as much…wait, they don’t do that now. They might have to
miss a practice or a game because of logistics. But truth be told, they could
probably stand a little vacation of their own from their hectic schedules. A mom-and-dad-only trip may
be just what the doctor ordered for everyone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We haven’t decided where we’re going or when, but I think we’re
getting closer to pulling the trigger. Maybe...</div>
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Any suggestions?</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-39473485808830203932016-11-16T19:18:00.000-08:002016-11-16T19:18:08.470-08:00The Talk: Understanding the Fear after the Elections<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaswKAgcOJX34wSJ1jvi2NZOYFf4006QZfhCCCp5H_eJOTKa6bu6XRW2UwEfKK7JV2F2x_iikkWMlFsCfKSsDBTQYp73Y4qyQSTCyEz7BE-yl5U09PfvFX4dpf7MraAtmvlbXw7ZFKUkyY/s1600/Stoney+election.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaswKAgcOJX34wSJ1jvi2NZOYFf4006QZfhCCCp5H_eJOTKa6bu6XRW2UwEfKK7JV2F2x_iikkWMlFsCfKSsDBTQYp73Y4qyQSTCyEz7BE-yl5U09PfvFX4dpf7MraAtmvlbXw7ZFKUkyY/s200/Stoney+election.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Election night blues</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Election day was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. But the day after, the emotions were crystal clear. Anger, disappointment and sadness hung over
my head like a cloud. For many of us,
this wasn’t an election about Republicans vs. Democrats, big government vs.
small government or rural strife vs. inner city problems. It was about right
vs. wrong. And to wake up to the fact that half of America (who bothered to vote) voted for someone
who lit up the campaign trail with insidious rhetoric aimed at anyone who wasn’t
white was like a punch to the gut. <span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, to all of my Caucasian counterparts who are wondering
why I’m a little stand-offish and clearly not my jovial self in polite company
these days, let’s talk.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most of my Republican friends will say they voted for Trump
because of what he said about bringing jobs back to Middle America. Others will
say they voted for Trump because he is going to cut taxes and be more fiscally
responsible. All of those reasons are fine. But let's talk about the other things
he said, the things that people are so quick to overlook, the things you turned a blind eye and ear to
during the election and since. He has flung about horribly insensitive and
racially-charged rhetoric that has set the tone for people to do things like
push a girl off the sidewalk at Baylor University and call her a Nigger, or
tell our Hispanic elementary school students that they need to go back to where
they came from. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Are those examples too far removed from your daily life? I
kind of thought so too, until a parent at my son’s school called saying she was
upset because there were boys passing out donuts to Trump supporters but not
Hillary supporters. I’m sure it was all fun and games, but not funny and it
wasn’t a game. Or how about when my <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">nine-year-old
daughter</b> came home and said one of her <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">nine-year-old
classmates</b> said she was glad Trump was elected so he can keep the Mexicans
from killing us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?!!! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> This is an absolute shock! Or is it?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You see, the rhetoric on the campaign trail and now in the
White House has energized and given a louder voice to this awful behavior in our
society. In many cases around the country, it’s not just talk anymore. It
has turned into action. Swastikas and Confederate flags aren’t necessarily new, but they are being flown high with new confidence and pride. I don’t feel safe in a neighborhood that I have live in for the last five years and a country that I was born in. I’m worried about letting my children walk the dog. People are entirely too comfortable with being confrontational and violent. <span style="font-size: 12pt;">Where does it stop? Who is
going to stand up for me and my family, if it comes down to that? I used to think the people of this country would. Now, I'm not so sure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think all of my conservative
friends who voted for Trump are racists. But you co-signed for someone who
is…or who clearly has racist, sexist tendencies. You can’t say you care about
my family, but then vote for someone who wouldn’t give my son a job solely based
on the color of his skin. You can’t say you think my daughter is great, but
then vote for someone who thinks that a woman’s looks determine her value. You
can’t care about me, but then vote for someone who would do me harm. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So yeah, I feel slightly betrayed. <span style="font-size: 12pt;">We have normalized crazy, and crazy is taking full
advantage.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some are saying, “Give him a chance.” I did. Every day of
the campaign, Trump had the chance to turn the corner toward reconciliation,
but he never did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some are saying, “Let’s come together.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can’t degrade and demean me for 18 months
and expect me to get over it in 8 days.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some are saying, “Get over it.” I would if the
President-elect would not constantly dismiss my concerns by appointing a known alt-right
sympathizer to the highest post in the White House.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am truly hoping that this President will prove me wrong.
Yet, I have a sneaky suspicion that he is who he has said he is. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Real Talk. I can understand if you voted for Trump because
of what he said about NAFTA, taxes and jobs. But, I can’t understand wearing blinders when it comes to who he is and what he stands for. You can't pick and chose the
parts you like. You have to realize that a person’s integrity stems from the
totality of their life and works. After 70 years, I don’t like the picture that
Trump's life has painted. More importantly, after 70 years, I don’t see it
changing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P. S. for those of you who didn’t vote at all, I can’t with
you…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-83844491080711576462016-06-27T14:19:00.000-07:002016-06-27T14:20:07.013-07:00Forgiveness: Rebuilding a Family<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Forgiveness</u></b></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjruhmB31EVWVO3lQvClsWdtuunRaJ5vna6RNsnF56wwGnxvqpYGIfJD6KUYFXGSKGffCq50O4Ki-GqY42-FjVBrCNvxe8qS3LC8DJiamBlegYlQPIst5SNOcpX3SPKXWTUJO6TvUOE8YTQ/s1600/IMG_2211.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjruhmB31EVWVO3lQvClsWdtuunRaJ5vna6RNsnF56wwGnxvqpYGIfJD6KUYFXGSKGffCq50O4Ki-GqY42-FjVBrCNvxe8qS3LC8DJiamBlegYlQPIst5SNOcpX3SPKXWTUJO6TvUOE8YTQ/s200/IMG_2211.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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Most people who know me know that I have been divorced from my
children’s father for about five years now. Most who know me also know that we
have been back together, working on picking up the pieces, for the last
two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the truth is, sometimes I don’t
know which is harder.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It would be easy to say that infidelity tore my family
apart. That’s the obvious answer. But it’s the not-so-obvious things that
probably started the tear. Nothing big or unique, but small rocks being thrown
at our glass house. Ask any married woman and, if they’re honest, they will
tell you that raising a family, being a wife, working and continuing to be the
woman their husband fell in love with is nearly impossible. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my case, we had three children under the age of six. All
of my time was spent taking care of them. Not complaining. That’s what I’m
supposed to do. I’m a parent and chose to have each one of them. Well, the last
one may have been the result of a little too much wine and not enough hobbies,
but loved and wanted nonetheless.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnLPLcPJoIyfgod3Z_iGDsc4kcuVk5xLJvbD1TZjZWpK8eDrLfEZY9KohMAIQ-5TIEmc6UCEFEDMxMeQJiI9u_5nrNONRlSgwc9tBmjcN7yBMXfBu_1feEcz6LscshysYisou8q-LUWgWS/s1600/Jackson+trio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnLPLcPJoIyfgod3Z_iGDsc4kcuVk5xLJvbD1TZjZWpK8eDrLfEZY9KohMAIQ-5TIEmc6UCEFEDMxMeQJiI9u_5nrNONRlSgwc9tBmjcN7yBMXfBu_1feEcz6LscshysYisou8q-LUWgWS/s200/Jackson+trio.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Jackson trio</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking back, there was a lot going on. Who has time to be crazy,
sexy, cool? The attire of the day, or everyday for that matter, was sweat pants?
And if they were clean, it was a really good day. I had one nursing, one still on
the bottle and I usually couldn’t find the other one. Needless to say, it
wasn’t a glamorous time in the Jackson household. There wasn’t time for
anything, especially my spouse.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know what you’re thinking…. that I’m making an excuse for my
ex’s bad behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not. I still
think he was an idiot and, most days, he would agree. But that doesn’t detract
from the truth. We didn’t spend the time needed to nurture our relationship. I
didn’t spend the time needed to nurture him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we first separated and subsequently divorced, things
were pretty rocky. There was a lot of crying, cussing and arguing. Every time
we got together, the tension could have killed an elephant. But after the
initial pain subsided, we both decided that we wanted our kids to grow up with
both of their parents…mainly because we didn’t. Both of us were raised by
family members, not our parents, and neither of our fathers were integral parts
of our lives. It was important to us that our kids had a relationship with both
of us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That led to us indirectly spending a lot of time together at
their various functions. I think I saw more of him then, being divorced, than I
did when we were married. The familiarity of our relationship and the demise of
his “extracurricular activities” got the better of us. He said he wanted to
work it out. I told him to take a lap. He persisted. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So, we decided to fight for it. I use the term fight because
that’s what it is. Every day, we make a conscious decision to fight off the doubt,
the naysayers, and the not-so-fond memories to make things work for our family.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPNOQEmWmgyTlUIYxvCmJ5w-DH3M-FjkmOS3ZgxrEYPgZ1-R4yl8wOw-n8DzJ3gAvYLA6V5EwnVJrXv872DB62Z59iM3j59iOUmcKBtaVgIm2yeV6ESnd5vwG5753EVI5PddxvLDVIOmFF/s1600/IMG_3075.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPNOQEmWmgyTlUIYxvCmJ5w-DH3M-FjkmOS3ZgxrEYPgZ1-R4yl8wOw-n8DzJ3gAvYLA6V5EwnVJrXv872DB62Z59iM3j59iOUmcKBtaVgIm2yeV6ESnd5vwG5753EVI5PddxvLDVIOmFF/s200/IMG_3075.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The gang's all here. Back <br />
together again</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And why not? Isn’t family worth fighting for? We have no
trouble fighting for a promotion. Hell, some of us will fight anyone who cracks
a mean “yo-mama” joke. Why is there so much scorn and judgment for people
wanting to save their families…especially in the face of infidelity? Wouldn’t
you work to save an investment? We’ve invested years in this relationship, building
a family and a life together. After going back and forth with others and with myself,
I came to realize that I wanted this. Despite what it looked like to others, I
wanted my family to work. That began with forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not going lie. Forgiveness is hard, on both of our
parts… me forgiving him and him forgiving himself. He’s had to not only
reconcile with me, but with everyone he’s hurt and disappointed. It can’t feel
good, but he’s doing it for us. We’re doing it for us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
There are days when we both say that quitting and going our
separate ways would be so much easier. Yet, reconciliation is where the real reward
lies. Working to restore a marriage should never be considered a waste of time.
It’s to be applauded. Anyone can run. It takes real strength and courage to
fight for your family… even if it’s against seemingly impossible odds.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-61283436043537749032016-02-26T09:25:00.002-08:002016-02-26T09:25:58.435-08:00<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
America: One Nation, Clearly Divisible</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI4C1Jgf5nyWSseSEEOrtDLtN7GaSvyvENYz2BHTzpZxtSV0u7noAky5NjPa6Ze4yK-oKF2QHgYmbIokgBI4M9cXgm0G1bTPI_IpQqUxwKLbs5HL7ubxT4Dsl8aL3PH408R4HKU0K6nNun/s1600/American+flag.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI4C1Jgf5nyWSseSEEOrtDLtN7GaSvyvENYz2BHTzpZxtSV0u7noAky5NjPa6Ze4yK-oKF2QHgYmbIokgBI4M9cXgm0G1bTPI_IpQqUxwKLbs5HL7ubxT4Dsl8aL3PH408R4HKU0K6nNun/s1600/American+flag.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The nation scares me right now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I find myself in shock a lot these days…shocked at what
people say, <o:p></o:p></div>
shocked at what people do, shocked at what people wear or don’t
wear, shocked at what is considered acceptable. Just shocked!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s as if I am living in the Twilight Zone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everywhere I turn, there seems to be a great divide. And the
racial divide is what’s most disheartening. Things that I thought would have only
been said or done during the height of the Civil Rights Movement are happening
today… and within “popular” culture. When is it acceptable in the U.S. to shoot
unarmed African-American men? When is it acceptable for the presidential candidate
to promote banning a group of people from the U.S. or tweeting derogatory statements about colleagues?When is it acceptable to have little or no
disregard for common decency or courtesy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Today, that’s when. I almost wish for the Civil Rights era. The 60’s
look like a keg party compared to today’s climate. Bigotry, hatred,
degradation…and that’s just on a Tuesday.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And I’m not frightened for me, but my children. How am I
supposed to preach to them to not judge a book by its cover when I know they
will be judge that way? How do I encourage them to speak their truths and not be
afraid to let their little African- American lights shine when I know they will
be ridiculed for it? I can’t let them walk down the streets with hoodies. They
can’t sit in bible study without having the doors locked for safety. Hell, I
took my daughter to see The Sound of Music not too long and made sure to take
note of the emergency exits should anything go down. Did you hear that? Should
anything go down? At the Sound of Music?!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There is certainly a climate change issue going on, but it
has nothing to do with weather. It’s the climate of intolerance in our country.
I sometimes feel as if the people in this country hate people of color. I know
that’s a very broad stroke, but I see it everywhere I turn. Police beatings,
and that’s if you’re lucky, disproportionate incarceration and economic
disparity run rampant in minority communities. And who calls the
president a liar in the middle of a televised speech? Seems perfectly
acceptable when the President is African American, right? Honestly, it makes me
look at people a little differently. Political affiliation has never really
bothered me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> To each his own. </span>Now I think, “If you can
support him, what must you think of me?” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I hope for our country’s sake, our children’s sake, the
waves of discord and hate soon calm. If not, we may tip over and find ourselves
unable to right the ship.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-13210102962870555842015-11-19T08:28:00.002-08:002015-11-19T08:28:43.075-08:00Preparing your children for life<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5_hlkOxayQJ0gDNqekKconX7oU6cfxOEa7fN8Mtu4Ov7vzsDR5YWvWHTl_hfFCgJ1L99bpvcfbeawdfUYAlO21PjOqz98AtTDh8FZC0nb79tTbpsw-zMXYbTh44daJABuWegu-8ugCkIt/s1600/fam+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5_hlkOxayQJ0gDNqekKconX7oU6cfxOEa7fN8Mtu4Ov7vzsDR5YWvWHTl_hfFCgJ1L99bpvcfbeawdfUYAlO21PjOqz98AtTDh8FZC0nb79tTbpsw-zMXYbTh44daJABuWegu-8ugCkIt/s200/fam+pic.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If there was one phrase that I have heard a million times
over the years, it is “train up a child in the way they should go.” Most times, that meant whip their tails so they don’t act a fool and get into bigger
trouble than they could get out of. But now, the focus is less on disciplining
and more on sheltering…less on training and more on protecting. I think the new
word for it is “helicoptering.” Being a mom of three, I can understand that.
That last thing I want my children to ever experience is hurt or pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But how realistic is that? And, as parents, are we doing
more harm than good?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was thinking about this as we were nearing Grandparents’
Day at my kids’ schools. My mom passed away last year and, honestly, she wasn’t
able to attend many times before that. My dad, while a fun guy, has not always
been the grandfatherly type. He will show up for the kids’ function, but
there’s always a feeling of relief when he makes it. So on several occasions, I
have asked family friends to fill in with my kids. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then there were times when the kids have
to go it alone. They went, sad face, some tears and made it through the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As happens every year, there were some parents who allowed
their children to miss school rather than subject them to a day without
grandparents. Now, don’t get me wrong, whenever my kids had no one to show up,
I think my feelings were more hurt than theirs. But then another old school
saying started playing in my head. “ If we don’t teach them, who will?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Teach them what, you ask? Teach them about life. Things
won’t ever be “Even Steven.” Life won’t ever really play by the rules. Instead
of allowing our children to bow out, why not take this opportunity to teach
them that yes, things won’t always be fair, but you will be fine. Hang in there
and, before you know it, you will be on the other side. And what better
instance than Grandparent’s Day because, let’s face it, this is one of the
easier lessons and environments to learn it in. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to let them get hit by a
car to prove you need to look both ways before crossing the street. I am saying
that the hard lessons are usually the ones that stick. Life can hand out some
doozies. When your child is able to rely on his/her own strength to persevere,
you will be amazed at how proud you will be. Better than that, your kiddo will
be proud of himself. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can’t always provide the shelter against disappointment,
heartbreaks, and mean girls. We can, however, illustrate how to deal with life
when it gives you lemons. That’s the legacy we should be thinking about.
Leaving our children with a way to keep their heads up in the face of
adversity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-8792467444722112622015-04-08T13:15:00.002-07:002015-04-08T13:19:15.342-07:00The New Normal<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMyNVDjX39B09drSIlM1wFqBlmb0nC5e5bfUTkCGe2F6MW9NllZPfujhDWuxaisy0qjTx6wUC9bLZJE9R1TpJXuykOFrOA3pLm4_1GKFwdOFtUdorO4j25axlg9tvU8ujzer6bnZCC8ZV7/s1600/the+kiddos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMyNVDjX39B09drSIlM1wFqBlmb0nC5e5bfUTkCGe2F6MW9NllZPfujhDWuxaisy0qjTx6wUC9bLZJE9R1TpJXuykOFrOA3pLm4_1GKFwdOFtUdorO4j25axlg9tvU8ujzer6bnZCC8ZV7/s1600/the+kiddos.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>What do you say to your small children about same-sex
couples? It’s a question I’ve asked myself lately because the scenario has come
up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Both Reese and Westley have friends and classmates who have same-sex parents. I know
the couples and they, along with their children, are awesome. I just wonder if
there is anything I need to be prepared to say or any question I need to be
prepared to answer if the kids see or hear something that they consider out of
the norm?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, let me be clear. I am not homophobic, anti-gay or any
of those other popular descriptors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of you who
know me know I am a church girl, but I am not of the holier-than-thou variety. Everyone
has their opinion, but I would never judge anybody for being homosexual. Lord knows I don’t want anyone judging me for things that I have done as a
heterosexual. Yet, I do want to be ready for inquiring minds. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why? Because I have been blinded-sided before with questions
like:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI-o4oYC5KS85yySMfor4dF9loKd8Tbwt5oEEZ2txR-NZ7D6AfdTp9xuywjtTDYJu3mjqEKD-9QG1LBBrxHAipTmtjnv0JKY6DBChT0gNMhIGyOtyUtjnzAkhYbjcXAukQVVvjLhQgNDn6/s1600/1558446_317722328426826_1975774246055234287_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI-o4oYC5KS85yySMfor4dF9loKd8Tbwt5oEEZ2txR-NZ7D6AfdTp9xuywjtTDYJu3mjqEKD-9QG1LBBrxHAipTmtjnv0JKY6DBChT0gNMhIGyOtyUtjnzAkhYbjcXAukQVVvjLhQgNDn6/s1600/1558446_317722328426826_1975774246055234287_n.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hard question? Yikes!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why do boys have penises and girls don’t?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That prompted a stimulating yet confusing conversation about pee-pees and wee-wees. I'm not even sure I understood what I said. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then there's my personal favorite, “How did the doctors get the baby
out of your tummy?” Luckily, their dad was close by as the bus was approaching, so I threw him under it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Ask your father!"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those type of silly retorts will work on some topics for a while, but for same-sex couples, I want to have an educated, thought-out response. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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There is no topic that builds up as much steam as the discussion about sexuality. It sits right at the top of the taboo leaderboard with with politics and religion. Am I to leave the discussion for the locker room at my son's all-boy school? Or maybe let the littles pick up their views from just plain ignorant commentary that tends to follow this topic everywhere it goes? I want kids that care, not kids that crucify.</div>
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What about things they might see on a play date? No, I'm not thinking they would see anything inappropriate, but more like wedding pictures or the term "Mom" being used for more than one person. </div>
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Am I over thinking it? Be honest. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Maybe I should stay away from any detail-oriented explanations
and tell them what I know to be true, what I have experienced in my own life…that
different families have different dynamics. Some families have two parents,
while some are divorced. Some families
have just one mommy or just a daddy, some have two mommies and two daddies,
some even have aunts, uncles and cousins in different family roles. But most
importantly, God loves all people, and so should you.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p><span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m hoping that if I stick with the basics, it will leave
room for them to make their own judgments based on their own experiences. Maybe
that is enough for now. What about when they are older and require more
information? I think I will cross that bridge when I get to it. But kids will
be kids and, sooner or later, they will want to know. I want to be thoughtful
in my delivery because my hope is to raise children who are, while firm in
their beliefs, understanding and loving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Any suggestions?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-3714194536363092512014-09-02T12:01:00.002-07:002014-09-02T13:02:20.659-07:00From Boys to Men<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibbLEM4NNpcw0Nhg2cFmMsLALaEwjRQxM0de_M2pYI1A9p3YunPfk3eRus7pGICFfLOVoBII08kZzuO0tK3NQgyRmQyqb1zyPYqjzlVe-rV4JLtnnnrOQ6Vrw7IWteD_4DbL4gZZ4zexRH/s1600/WesandJack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibbLEM4NNpcw0Nhg2cFmMsLALaEwjRQxM0de_M2pYI1A9p3YunPfk3eRus7pGICFfLOVoBII08kZzuO0tK3NQgyRmQyqb1zyPYqjzlVe-rV4JLtnnnrOQ6Vrw7IWteD_4DbL4gZZ4zexRH/s1600/WesandJack.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Westley and Jack </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I am worried about my sons.<br />
<br />
I would like to think that they will get a fair shake in this county, but I don't.<br />
<br />
I would like to believe that they will only be judged by their character and conduct, but I don't.<br />
<br />
I would hope that one day they would get a job and be paid the same amount, receive the same recognition and be given the same opportunity as their caucasian counterparts, but I don't.<br />
<br />
The events that have taken place over the last year in this country have made me doubt the claim that African-Americans have come a long way.<br />
<br />
I know what you're thinking. The media circus surrounding the Michael Brown shooting has me on edge. Well, you would be partially correct. As the story unfolds, you realize there is little "fact" to support the allegations that this young man threatened the police officer who shot him. What does seem obvious is that Michael Brown was shot, not because he threatened police, but because the police felt threatened by this tall African-American teenager. And now, instead of finding out the truth, all concern by authorities has been FOR the authorities and managing their reputation. The effort has been put into slandering Brown's character to give people a reason to believe he was a criminal. It's disgraceful.<br />
<br />
Trayvon Martin was followed and subsequently killed because he "looked" suspicious. Why, because he was wearing a hoodie and carrying a watermelon drink? When is it going to stop being acceptable for African-Americans to be judged solely on their appearance? Why does our casual attire, or gestures or lifestyle have to mimic that of other cultures to keep from being considered ghetto? Why do we have to assimilate in order to be accepted? Meanwhile, those trying to look more urban get accolades and awards for twerking?? I don't get it.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2iu3fYjBgbn0s920zzPlZvwHkaXNg5L_s3zdu8l2KfgNNdPAWKwNYVGkRD2Oiu5UVxOKD5nTABm5RkWfGQLqZIAporKr2u5vg95frHBlz3mXhqPjeOhxKssx1bF3vUp_yiGQ0IVHAqUgZ/s1600/Jackatthebank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2iu3fYjBgbn0s920zzPlZvwHkaXNg5L_s3zdu8l2KfgNNdPAWKwNYVGkRD2Oiu5UVxOKD5nTABm5RkWfGQLqZIAporKr2u5vg95frHBlz3mXhqPjeOhxKssx1bF3vUp_yiGQ0IVHAqUgZ/s1600/Jackatthebank.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jack with his hoodie on</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Any day of the week, my oldest could look "suspicious" by a wearing a hoodie and larger-than-necessary shorts. But anyone who has even met Jack would know that he is the furthest thing you could get from a thug. As a matter of fact, he would argue over whether thug was even a real word since there is no reference to its Latin origin.<br />
<br />
Wes is certainly a lady killer, but I doubt very seriously he would ever actually hurt anyone. He apologizes when he steps on bugs!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvwJgG3wfkLfr7N-HFLeYXv_82tbPqpQGHO1vhWs6mr_njqFtJNZXaqEClXmgDKEpO4CCkLqHR3zp_TyMUeo3ZIDjd6uF19AHLQoWLO34lJOclxRgZntLXtijn5lpqb1JmkEakgSEGIytP/s1600/wesanderica.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvwJgG3wfkLfr7N-HFLeYXv_82tbPqpQGHO1vhWs6mr_njqFtJNZXaqEClXmgDKEpO4CCkLqHR3zp_TyMUeo3ZIDjd6uF19AHLQoWLO34lJOclxRgZntLXtijn5lpqb1JmkEakgSEGIytP/s1600/wesanderica.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wes and the babysitter</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Don't get me wrong. I am not making a blanket statement or judging all of humanity by these incidents. But less face it. They are not exactly isolated incidents. In my humble opinion, there is sufficient evidence for concern. <br />
<br />
I'm hurt that the conversation I have with my sons about how to interact with police will probably be completely different than some of the other moms I know. I'm a little disturbed that I will have to explain to them that it may not be in their best interest to cooperate with authorities on questions they might have. Instead, call a lawyer first and me second should anything happen. I realize the chances of any of this happening to them is small, but the opportunity is still there.<br />
<br />
I am worried about my sons. They deserve better than what they are probably going to get out of being black men in this country. I'm scared that no matter what their father and I do to ensure that they are well-educated, well-rounded boys, it won't matter. They'll still receive the short end of the stick. This is one of few times that I pray I am completely off base.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-62055055728960732082014-06-23T08:56:00.001-07:002014-06-23T14:09:01.908-07:00Run for the Cure<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvCbdWS8fOPC1jD6enoxjY2m-AswjUU3uQKyaa3FxA5OK2BWvhMmBh8j7141W3je0oHWiYRfZD6cF8Jua9u4HyH7aggAuy8XREajFBqcqHAjj8ISpBa_4LJmEC3QTKwrvgFNaswBs7C3PS/s1600/running+shoes.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvCbdWS8fOPC1jD6enoxjY2m-AswjUU3uQKyaa3FxA5OK2BWvhMmBh8j7141W3je0oHWiYRfZD6cF8Jua9u4HyH7aggAuy8XREajFBqcqHAjj8ISpBa_4LJmEC3QTKwrvgFNaswBs7C3PS/s1600/running+shoes.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
Let me start by saying that I absolutely hate running. Picking up my entire body weight and moving it down the street, on the treadmill or around a track is not my idea of a good time. For the most part, I would rather do ANYTHING other than run. However, I decided to take it up a few months ago just to see if I could handle it. My life was in transition, and I needed an outlet. Normally, that outlet is called Chardonnay, but at the time, I needed something that gave me a sense of accomplishment. I needed something that made me feel good again...a cure for my brokenness.<br />
<br />
Low and behold, I started to, dare I say, like it! I enjoyed the peace and quiet it provided... a welcome change from the constant battery of daily life. It became therapeutic for me. I plugged in a pair of earbuds, laced up my sneakers and hit the pavement. There, at one with the open road, I could just let my mind rest and focus on completing the task at hand.<br />
<br />
Once I got a little more accustomed to running, I noticed that a lot could be learned from the simple, yet challenging, act.<br />
<br />
1. No matter how familiar you are with the path, there's always the possibility of something unfamiliar popping up.<br />
<br />
To my surprise one day, the road I normally traveled was being torn to shreds by a construction crew. I don't know if they were putting speed bumps in or taking them out but either way, there were orange cones and large cranes taking up the entire street. I was going to have to take a detour. WTH! That would mean a longer route, more unexpected surprises since I didn't know the terrain and, undoubtedly, more work on my part. I was not very happy. This went on for a least a month. But what I found was that the added challenge prepared me for the next roadblock or construction crew in my life. The more I dealt with and overcame issues, the more I was prepared for the next one. Okay, prepared is probably not the correct word, but I am certainly not devastated by every little setback or hard lesson anymore. It has increased my endurance for life and for that, I am grateful.<br />
<br />
2. If you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you'll get to your destination.<br />
<br />
I am a church girl, but am lacking in the traditional African American talent commonly known as ISQ-impromptu scripture quoting. However, I do have one for this occasion. "The race is not given to the swift or to the strong, but to the one who endures." Don't ask me what book this comes from, but I know it's in there somewhere. The point is that this life tries to convince us that it's all about winning. It's all about the fastest time or the top of the leader board. That's fine for a competition that has a specific endpoint. But in the race of life, there is no specific destination. It sounds cliche, but it's all about the journey. Shortly after beginning to run, I registered for a few 5k races. It always drove me crazy not to be able to see the finish line. I learned that the finish line isn't always the goal. Depending on the the struggle, it's about getting through the first mile or hell, just making it to the starting line to begin with. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will get there at the time appointed for you and learn the lessons you are meant to learn along the way. Can I get an amen?<br />
<br />
3. The longer the run, the bigger the sense of accomplishment.<br />
<br />
Raise your hand if you enjoy encountering problems in life. Anyone? Exactly. I feel like I could live my entire life without facing a problem and be just fine. But since starting to run, I've been able to gradually increase the distance that I tackle. Oh, it's not pretty, but I get through it. And no matter how much I pant, decrease my speed to just more than a walk or plain pass the hell out when I finish, I feel like I have done something. I know, it doesn't sound to important now, but while you are in one of life's storms, just the smallest sense of accomplishment can make it easier to pick up the pieces. It can give you that extra umph to keep going and not give up. Sometimes, all you need is a little reminder of how you overcame your first mile run to help you overcome that issue at work. Or maybe you just need a refresher of how you found enough strength to beat your own personal best time to find the strength to forgive when someone who has wronged you. It's inevitable. The longer you do something, the more efficient you become at it. Embrace the long run. It builds you up for the additional mileage that life tends to throw at you.<br />
<br />
I still hate to run, but I see the value it in. For you, it could be anything challenging...chess, cooking, swimming. Give it a shot. Don't be afraid to do that one thing that gives you the most anxiety. It could lead to some of the biggest discoveries of your life.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-34213302662154530552014-03-31T17:47:00.002-07:002014-03-31T17:51:51.321-07:00The MILF: Moments I'd Love to Forgo<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I normally talk about the ups and downs of motherhood, but
today’s topic is going to be a little different. If you are happily married and
in it until the end, you are more than welcome to turn the channel because today’s
blog is about the perils of online dating.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My usual Friday night date</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been divorced for 3 years now, and I finally feel like
I have developed a sort of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“new normal” with my kids. We have a few hiccups now and then, but I think we’ve settled
into a comfortable rhythm. Some of my friends agree and have been urging me to
get out and meet some new people…. meet some new men.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yikes!!! I could live the rest of my life without having to deal with the dating scene again. This certainly classifies as a moment in time that I could forgo, omit, just plain do without.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will be the first to admit that it has taken some time for
me to get over my divorce. The emotional healing was and is a brutal process
for me. Yet, that’s why my friends say I should start dating because “the best
way to get over one man is to start seeing another.” However, the dating
landscape has changed dramatically over the past few years. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was in my twenties, I was going to
happy hour three days a week and to business “networking” events the other two.
Now that I am a mother of three, the happy hours have slowed down. Meeting guys
isn’t as easy as it used to be. Where I am going to meet them... at the
McDonald’s play area? The closest I've gotten to a cougar experience is a trip to the zoo with my kids. Hence, the emergence of online dating sites. But I’m not
totally convinced that online is the place for me to find love either.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
First of all, I’m just opposed
to paying for the services? I can't really explain why, but it just seems wrong. What am I paying for…the chance to read your
profile and send you an email? I know it’s the way things are done nowadays,
but I don’t see the value in it. The little that I have done hasn’t produced
anything worth talking about. The guys are either older, younger, slimmer,
heavier or broker than their profile indicated. If I meet you out on a date and
you don’t look like your profile picture, you should buy drinks until you do.
I’m not looking for perfection, but I’m honest, and I expect other people to be
as well. Is that naïve of me? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My idea of a threesome. Hanging out with<br />
the girls.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
My friends say you have to go
through a lot of frogs to get to your Prince Charming. The problem is that I
don’t have that kind of time. I have three kids, and we are all very active in
our extracurricular activities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
doesn’t leave much room for surfing the web for a date. Besides, I don’t want
my children to see me parading around with a bunch of “frogs” and thinking this
is the way it should be done. Now that I am a mom, I have to think about how my
children perceive what they see. I don’t want to give them the impression that
dating is about quantity and not quality.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
I guess I’m old fashioned. I
want to meet someone out at a party or event, or have my friends hook me up
with someone they know and trust. I know that finding a relationship takes an
investment and a certain of amount of risk. But I’m not in my twenties any more
and just like with my 401K, I feel like I should be a little more conservative
with the resources of my time and heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
Will the absence of online
dating make it harder for me to get a second chance at love? Probably. But that
is a risk I’m willing to take.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
What do you think about online
dating? Let me know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -22.5pt;">
<br /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-84035761390051266742014-01-16T04:21:00.001-08:002014-01-23T07:43:45.526-08:00Tooting Your Horn with Your Kids<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4r-6MCxdizYQzfg86zDUGWTFIKKWqa2Pr4NQEGnxiUw_7smm4skmMj1PDmVKaR0FPghNYPIHFeWZMjcB9CghVeuPcNkaM6HzGE3hhlz6eiU3bVeh1_C-Ywc9rPfk2XCVKf6IOV24VbNC/s1600/family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4r-6MCxdizYQzfg86zDUGWTFIKKWqa2Pr4NQEGnxiUw_7smm4skmMj1PDmVKaR0FPghNYPIHFeWZMjcB9CghVeuPcNkaM6HzGE3hhlz6eiU3bVeh1_C-Ywc9rPfk2XCVKf6IOV24VbNC/s1600/family.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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As you all know, I am really involved in my kids’
lives…mainly because I don’t have one of my own. However, I like being there to
cheer them on. Growing up, I was extremely involved in school activities,
especially sports. So being on the sidelines, in the bleachers or in the dugout
with my kiddos only seems natural. However, they have been a little skeptical
of “Mom” having too much of an opinion about their extra-curricular activities.
Why? Because they’ve never known me to be involved in any extra-curricular
activities myself. In their minds, I am the queen of all things domestic. If
they need instructions on brushing teeth or making beds, I am the resident
expert…literally. But when it comes to things outside of the home, they often
feel that I am outside of my element. That had to change.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not a horn tooter. To my
own detriment most times, I rely heavily on self-deprecating humor to keep from
being embarrassed when I receive compliments. In doing so, I have not only
downplayed my skills with adults, but with my children as well. For instance,
Jack has played basketball for a couple of seasons now. When I have tried to
give him advice or show him proper technique in the past, he would brush me off. Finally, I
asked him why.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Because you’ve never played basketball, Mommy,” he said.<o:p></o:p></div>
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What? How could this be?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My own son didn’t know I played junior high, high school and collegiate
basketball? </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1i2rvxSOXNoF8lef3N6wN6p_AkwKU8Dr-j2sN3B7ctdQtGC2kWI-xc0D5D-LuRTUFK-ERwxG4xLMBXES6kP4gqWABi7p_GnNBRrqIFl6m3SyKuNATqs8236zpEX3GgT4-0nLEJf8qnEmz/s1600/qball.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1i2rvxSOXNoF8lef3N6wN6p_AkwKU8Dr-j2sN3B7ctdQtGC2kWI-xc0D5D-LuRTUFK-ERwxG4xLMBXES6kP4gqWABi7p_GnNBRrqIFl6m3SyKuNATqs8236zpEX3GgT4-0nLEJf8qnEmz/s1600/qball.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo from my high school yearbook</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Hadn’t I told him this before? Haven’t I showed him pictures or
taken him to a game? In short, no! Jack believes the greatest thing I’ve ever
done was give birth to him. So when I received an email to attend an SMU game
honoring basketball alums, I quickly RSVP’d and made the kiddos tag along.</div>
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At halftime, all former players were asked to report
court-side to be recognized.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Where are you going,” Jack asked?<o:p></o:p></div>
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“I’m going down to the court,” I replied.</div>
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Surprised, he asked, “You played here?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Yes! Now watch Westley until I get back.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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So who’s the assistant coach of Jack’s basketball team? Me! And
he is more inclined to listen to me now that he knows my basketball background.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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The same thing occurred with Reese. She was on the
mini-cheerleading squad at her school, and they were preparing to perform at a
high school football game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While she was
showing me her routine at home, I said,<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Looks great! Straighten your arms a little more though,”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rolling her eyes, she said, “This is cheerleader stuff, not
mommy stuff. Watch, and I’ll show you how it’s done.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEGv4D27_gtS2s88VoMulTH1vA8dJ6FF9IW00B0brlmtaPf9-VufG0Z9xQZTESj89ltL4i30WfnX7z6vBUhicE3KiT27KoNsUNzKzrzoNidVMEX3-Z7mTQgKK98X6_UkS6SdrDzr6grCmn/s1600/cheerleading.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEGv4D27_gtS2s88VoMulTH1vA8dJ6FF9IW00B0brlmtaPf9-VufG0Z9xQZTESj89ltL4i30WfnX7z6vBUhicE3KiT27KoNsUNzKzrzoNidVMEX3-Z7mTQgKK98X6_UkS6SdrDzr6grCmn/s1600/cheerleading.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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Oh no she didn’t! I had to break out the 1989 Woodrow Wilson
High School yearbook to show her my cheerleading skills!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Before this, I barely made a noise with my horn. Now, I’m a
tooting fool. When checking over their language arts homework, they would give
me the stink eye until I reminded them that I used to be an English teacher.
When rehearsing speeches for church or memorizing poems for school, they sighed
in utter frustration every time I told them to slow down and “put your face
into it.” That’s until I pulled out my old resume tapes from being a TV
reporter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m not doing this because I’m pompous or overly proud of
the things I’ve done. Instead, I want my children to be proud of the things
I’ve done and, in turn, to be proud of themselves and where/who they come from.
I am constantly learning that parenting is about more than just washing dishes
and folding clothes. I’m their most important mentor…their very first role
model. It’s imperative that I share what I know… the good and the bad. They
need to see Mommy learn a new skill, meet a goal or overcome an obstacle…
because if Mommy can do it, they can too. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Try it. Share your experiences with your kids. And it
doesn’t have to be something monumental. If you are going back to school to get
a degree, let them look at your homework assignments. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re working out at the gym, take them
along. Show your children that there are more dimensions to you than what they
see at home. You will open their eyes to the real meaning of the word
“superwoman.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And instead of you
bragging on them all of the time, you just might catch them bragging on you.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-50030319552254649842013-11-25T19:10:00.000-08:002013-11-26T13:27:06.692-08:00Giving Thanks<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD8ya4dMhpeFCEInvsw1bJMxJRZ0h_Zw_e_VyZMxhBIi6SFiDWbROosAvsv2pWyo-KTACUNcUmVe38TgLz2xcx__sty1w5fNc-iG1QSZstZ8-BYJo6uTE0EvGH6uKD4kI4KkhDuENQHdjw/s1600/kidsatbeach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD8ya4dMhpeFCEInvsw1bJMxJRZ0h_Zw_e_VyZMxhBIi6SFiDWbROosAvsv2pWyo-KTACUNcUmVe38TgLz2xcx__sty1w5fNc-iG1QSZstZ8-BYJo6uTE0EvGH6uKD4kI4KkhDuENQHdjw/s320/kidsatbeach.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Westley, Jack and Reese at Galveston Beach</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanksgiving 2013 is only a few days away. The kids are
spending this holiday with their father, so I have a little quiet time to
reflect on what I’m thankful for. I’m not going to lie; these past couple of
years has been full of pitfalls. Divorce, relocation and single parenthood are
enough to make anyone want to reshuffle the cards of life. But because I have
been blessed with so many people who love and care about me and my children,
the transition has been made easier. And for that, I am thankful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Grandparents’ Day at Westley and Jack’s schools made me
realize how fortunate we are. My parents are the only grandparents the kids
have left. My mom has health issues, while my dad considers this “extra.” He
has come in the past, but has not always considered these things a priority.
So, I knew I would have to ask some other “grand friends” to help me out. The
kids’ always-faithful Godparents, the Paynes and the Bookers, filled in last
year but had to work this year. So, I sent out an email to some of our close
family friends. 30 minutes hadn’t passed before I received some responses.
Within an hour, I had several people on the calendar to represent the Jackson
household at Grandparents’ Day.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFvFivjh4DgybyHyU4l3vl5mABp4jDjH_g94vYKYhnnwt7Q7Jb7TZAOG2q2mPJoyRRRw0hpZn9CWQ489izjHpZ_9Z2hXwS4VymZjsMfJ6rebsY7NqzOLxQ0r40kn2i05eo8V14vsPxWNNe/s1600/grandparentsday2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFvFivjh4DgybyHyU4l3vl5mABp4jDjH_g94vYKYhnnwt7Q7Jb7TZAOG2q2mPJoyRRRw0hpZn9CWQ489izjHpZ_9Z2hXwS4VymZjsMfJ6rebsY7NqzOLxQ0r40kn2i05eo8V14vsPxWNNe/s200/grandparentsday2.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Never mind that they weren’t actually
grandparents. Hell, they didn’t even have kids, but were willing to take time
out of there busy day to be there for my children. And like any parent will
tell you, when you’re there for my kids, you’re there for me. To top it off,
there were even a few members of our village who were upset they didn’t make
the cut (Brenda Williams). Don’t worry,
there’s always next year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t want to start naming names because there are so
many friends who stand in our corner. However, a few honorable mentions
couldn’t be ignored. Angela Payne, AKA “Aunt A,” is constantly on flood patrol.
If she sees any of my children with pants above their ankles, there is a new
bag of clothes always waiting on me the following week at church. Len Payne,
AKA Uncle Len, is good for pep talks, football drills and drinks when mom
really needs one or six. Janet Booker is always chastising and urging me to see the
wonder in my kids, even when they've behaved like bandits and don’t deserve it. My cousin Nikie Sewell, AKA
“Spirit of Peter,” is my ride-or-die chick and will shank a brother if needed,
no explanation required. I could go on and on about Katy, my girl from high
school, who always has my back, or the Nicoles, with the dog and without, who
handle carpools, zoo camp and last minute babysitting, and Erica Miles, AKA
“Auntie Erica,” who bought Reese her first pair of pearls.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I may have some trials, but I have nothing to complain
about. Everyone from my beautician to my boss is a great source of support for
me. I couldn’t manage this volatile terrain without them. When I’m down, I
don’t have to scroll too far through the contact list to find someone to talk
with, a shoulder to cry on, a friend.</div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am so thankful for
the angels that God has placed around my family. I could not do this alone. To
anyone who has ever done the slightest, smallest thing for my family, I want to
say thank you.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-16051768505815422492013-10-05T11:37:00.001-07:002013-10-09T12:26:05.103-07:00Raising Reese<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnqHiyV4jicLnaEHgRi_ScAnaqOfVgjEyzJxhtXFC3n__f6fmSfX_avlgtAnIz8ijz3zwYY2A3YbmrvC-fSWkgDYug46Byn7ZmtsGod_a9qtyvJW-ekrV-N5Nljm40L1OC3Xt1J-gTsN9M/s1600/1185915_10201633313648717_1896509711_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnqHiyV4jicLnaEHgRi_ScAnaqOfVgjEyzJxhtXFC3n__f6fmSfX_avlgtAnIz8ijz3zwYY2A3YbmrvC-fSWkgDYug46Byn7ZmtsGod_a9qtyvJW-ekrV-N5Nljm40L1OC3Xt1J-gTsN9M/s200/1185915_10201633313648717_1896509711_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reese on the 1st day of school </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not sure I’m doing this right. This raising children
thing is not easy. And if you have multiples, one size does not fit all. I’m
learning the hard way that when you have more than one child, you love them
equally, but not in the same way (I got that from my friend Katy Henderson).
Learning the difference between the two can be a painful lesson for all. I have
two boys, but raising Reese, my daughter, is completely different. While I
realize the obvious distinction, the ones underneath take a little more
scrutiny to detect. And when you’re a single parent, those hard-to-see traits
can often be overlooked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those of you who read my blog are also probably friends of
mine on Facebook. So you know that recently, I had an eye-opening experience at
one of Reese’s soccer games. While I thought I was yelling encouraging words
and helpful tips from the sidelines, she thought I was just yelling. I felt
horrible for a few days because I could tell she perceived my over-zealous
cheering to mean that I was not pleased with her or that she wasn’t good
enough. I explained that I was just trying to help. She understood, but ask me
to bring it down a notch. Agreed. Little did I know, she was feeling a lot more
insecurities than I was aware of. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to find out from her teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having been a teacher, I like to prepare for teacher
conferences. I keep my kiddos worksheets and ask questions about whether they are performing well and what their dad and I can do to assist. However, I
was not prepared for what I was about to hear. Mrs. Jennings, Reese’s first
grade teacher, told me that Reese was doing an excellent work and that she was
a delight to be around. What she wanted me to do at home was to build Reese’s
self esteem.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What?” I said dumbfounded. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Reese constantly second guesses herself,” explained Mrs.
Jennings. “She doesn’t realize that she is one in a million.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I ended up crying in the conference. Not because I was full
of joy over the compliment, but that someone else had to tell me how special my
daughter was. You see, in all honesty, I don’t look for it. I don’t have time to.
I am so busy trying to make sure that she knows her spelling words, or explaining
how cleaning her room is an important responsibility. I’m giving her my two
cents on soccer and singing in the choir. I want her to excel. When she tells
me she had a good day at school, I say “that’s not the exception, that’s the
norm. You’re doing what you’re supposed to.” I do the same thing to Jack. But
he lets it go in one ear and out the other. I think Reese internalizes all of
those comments as criticisms and believes she is not good enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It breaks my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
would never hurt her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She once compared me to Merida’s mom in the movie <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Brave.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“She fusses to much, kind of like you,” Reese would say.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“And kind of like me, Merida’s mom just wants what’s best
for her.” I shrugged off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t pay any attention then. Now, I realize she was
right. I thought I was doing the right thing by pushing her, but it appears I
was driving her spirits down instead of lifting them up. She knows how much I
love her, right? I don’t have to keep telling her, do I? Yes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I need to celebrate the many things that Reese is and not
focus on the things that she isn’t. Because truth be told, I don’t care if she
is the next Mia Hamm or not. I just want her to give her best at whatever she
does. But she’s not Jack. My support may need to take the shape of motherly
love rather than motivational speaker. She needs to know that I love her
whether her room is clean or not, whether she scores a goal or not, whether she
makes a perfect score on a test or not.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Some of Facebook friends and I are participating in a 30-day
Mom Challenge: Mom’s Ultimate To-Do List. Each day, there is a mommy action
item. But instead of doing laundry, it asks you to hug your children 3 times in
a day or leave a sweet note for them. Until I started doing it, I didn’t
realize how seldom I engaged in this type of activity with my kids. So, I am
vowing from this day forward to be Reese’s mother and not her life coach. I want her to know that she is special. She’s
not Jack or Westley. She is my “sweet girl,” Reese….and she’s one in a million in
my eyes too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-9985785746485195612013-09-19T09:45:00.000-07:002013-09-19T09:45:37.070-07:00Keeping up with the Jackson<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8p5erc8QLx9DgeNs4Cf4EGcNZ9TBx0ylCJQM4slfWqdcGfyVl61rKkWkaTu5SJTwPyeYuR0WdReHmOaZxt8WrNsYqfoiPiY6H4GC_fcW_sPvhtL_OmkZl8dHG6lixoVhwn6-cofTGoxBT/s1600/Image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8p5erc8QLx9DgeNs4Cf4EGcNZ9TBx0ylCJQM4slfWqdcGfyVl61rKkWkaTu5SJTwPyeYuR0WdReHmOaZxt8WrNsYqfoiPiY6H4GC_fcW_sPvhtL_OmkZl8dHG6lixoVhwn6-cofTGoxBT/s320/Image.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Jackson trio in their variety of extra-curricular activities</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s hard enough being a single parent. But when you’re
crazy, like I am, and you allow them to participate in several activities, hard
is putting it mildly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The problem is that I want my kids to be exposed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a kid, I lived with my grandmother, so by definition my
experiences were limited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I was
still involved in a lot of activities. I played sports, participated in show
choir, performed with the drill team and was a cheerleader. I went on to a
great university (go SMU Mustangs) and had some great times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, my grandmother would always say, “ I
just want you to have a really good job, like at the post office.” Because of
her limited exposure, not her fault…but society’s, that was her view of what
would lead to wealth and prosperity. I want my kids to know there’s more to
life than just the post office.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But DAMN. I am killing myself physically, and some months financially, trying to keep up with the Jacksons.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have elected to put my children into private school. And
as I have said in a previous blog, there is more to the cost of this decision
than just tuition. When you’re in this environment, there is the desire (maybe
pressure) to make sure that you keep up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They need some exposure to organized sports and activities. How you
ask??? By joining the soccer team, flag football, basketball, mini-cheerleaders,
mini-drill team, cub scouts, girls scouts, Y-princesses, chess club, choir and
we’re just in lower school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I worry
about gymnastics classes because I know that when cheerleading tryouts roll
around in high school, some of the participants will have been on a tumbling
team since age three.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I worry about
private lessons for whatever sport we are playing because I don’t want my kid
to ride the bench in the future. One of the choirs that my son auditioned for
required a resume.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s eight!!! In
short, I’m worried about whether I’ve made the right decision by placing myself
in this competitive parenting environment because, frankly, I don’t know if I’m
up for the challenge.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It seems all this exposure is leaving me, well….exposed!
Keeping up with the Jacksons is giving me 3<sup>rd</sup> degree burns. I didn’t
grow up with all of this and I turned out okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t have a portfolio
of activities for my resume by age 10. I’m still relatively successful. Right?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
But like most parents, I want my children to leave me and my
experiences in the dust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want them to
know the sky is the limit. But the question I keep asking myself is whether
they will know that because of the schools they attend or by the model they are
given….me.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-4628882899463206462013-08-09T17:07:00.001-07:002013-08-09T17:07:36.398-07:00Learning from Letdowns<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq6P7KKQsD1xrekb9cHtd2IrSS3KDk95rF2V8c5iMKd7Ybr6XEGxw1-9PRBNxTJodjw89O0Pv5d0WShFBeFXHkbvO9cZr7BKlLkYbJPOY0JbByccoxQ_wqQ0HpcRInUMEymVopP1C165QY/s1600/35957_1604609797946_341261_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq6P7KKQsD1xrekb9cHtd2IrSS3KDk95rF2V8c5iMKd7Ybr6XEGxw1-9PRBNxTJodjw89O0Pv5d0WShFBeFXHkbvO9cZr7BKlLkYbJPOY0JbByccoxQ_wqQ0HpcRInUMEymVopP1C165QY/s200/35957_1604609797946_341261_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No dessert devastates Westley</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMKgHtW8LTfO98t0xA-Bb1TWMAE3nZ8IJXGHRvXjfSFPKidFu_656Me7zlPsO1YefJVbJoyW-z_8Fx0sk43NtEuCuBaCGh7zHOwDlq-0NsN7oOQhj-cCr3u3-wv-gvNYd-ZfZGukmxEAc7/s1600/35957_1604609797946_341261_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life is rough and then you die, right?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when you’re a mom, you really don’t like the idea of
your little one being hurt, heartbroken or devastated. We say, “Sometimes
they have to learn the hard way.” But if we’re honest with ourselves, another
cliché is also true when it comes to painful moments for our kids. “This is
going to hurt me more than it hurts you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt that way just this week. Jack and Reese were
attending camp at a local recreation center. After a couple days, Jack insisted
on taking his Nintendo DS with him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,” I said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Please, Mom? Everyone is bringing theirs,” pleaded Jack.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went on to explain to him that it <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">WILL</b> come up missing. That’s the case at any camp-like function
where there are a lot of kids and few adults. I also told him that when it
does, he would take his case before Santa (aka-Granny) because I was not going
to buy him another one. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right on cue as I was picking them up, Jack appeared before
me with red eyes and slumped shoulders. Since the cat had Jack’s tongue, his
always-verbal sidekick, Reese, took over elaborating on the day’s horrific
events.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Someone stole Jack’s DS!!!” she proclaimed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You don’t say,” I side-eyed Jack.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,” she continued, “but we know who did it. His name is…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t care what his name is.” I turned to Jack, “Son,
didn’t I tell you this was going to happen? I’m not going out of my way to fix
this, because I warned you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I continued to scold, and he continued to cry. Finally, he
yelled, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But he’s not being honest. Why is he not being honest and
stealing other people’s stuff.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right then it dawned on me. This was more than just an
incident of stealing. It was innocence lost.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know what you’re
thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s the big deal? You told
him not to take the D-S, he did and he lost it. But the days that followed
painted the picture. The recreation center took the kids to the movies. Jack
was super-anxious about his money being stolen. He and Reese took some snacks
one day. As soon as we got there, he asked the counselor if she could lock them
up in her office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I’m all for a
healthy dose of common sense and awareness, but I don’t want the child to think
he is going to get robbed every time he leaves the house. He and his siblings had already been bowled over by the fact that their parents weren't perfect by living through a divorce. I don’t want all of the fun
to be taken out of his life just yet. That will come soon enough. And to see the
child-like trust in him dissipate a bit more, was…well, sad!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that eventually he needs to learn that not everyone
needs to be trusted and to take the necessary precautions to be safe, but I was
hoping I could shield him a little bit longer. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a happy ending though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The culprit returned Jack’s DS, and all is
well. But it won’t ever be the same.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-19213106585290410142013-07-13T18:44:00.000-07:002013-07-13T18:49:04.441-07:00Fast and Easy Chicken Pot PieAs a working mom, it's hard to slave over the stove to provide your kids with a healthy meal. So, when I find a good recipe that is fast and slightly nutritious, I am more than willing to share. I found this recipe on the back of a Philadelphia Cream Cheese Savory Garlic tub and have been smitten ever since.<br />
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<div>
It's super easy. I use about a pound of chicken breast tenderloins, but it's really your preference. You can use the whole breast or any other piece. The sauce is so good that it works for just about about anything. I chop, season and saute the chicken in about a tablespoon of vegetable oil. Once browned, I add frozen peas and carrots. You can also use mixed vegetables for a little more variety if you like. Once the veggies are heated through, add the tub of Philadelphia Cream Cheese with Savory Garlic and heat until bubbly. Pour the mixture into a deep dish pie crust and then cover with pre-made pie crust dough. I trim the edges, pinch the two pie crusts together and score the middle. If you're really an overachiever, you can put some egg wash on it to make it brown and pretty. But it is delicious..and most of the all, the kids like it. Serve with a little fruit, and you have all of the major food groups covered. Try it and let me know what you think.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-5245973371694154592013-06-27T19:17:00.000-07:002013-06-27T19:25:06.783-07:00Paula and Prop 8 and Trayvon! Oh My!!!!<span style="font-weight: normal; text-align: left;">I am a former reporter and anchor, and I know that these
past few weeks have been a newsmaker’s dream.
Paula Deen, the famed butter queen of the Food Network, admits to having
said the N-word. Then, in two separate rulings, the Supreme Court overturned
Proposition 8 that banned same-sex marriages in California, while ruling
legally married same-sex couples must receive the same federal benefits
provided to heterosexual couples. Last, but not lease, the murder trial of
George Zimmerman, who is accused of killing African-American teen Trayvon
Martin, got underway amidst a flurry of lights and cameras. There is no shortage of opinions on any of
these, so I’m throwing my two cents in, as well.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll begin with Paula Deen. I DON’T CARE. I know this is not the popular opinion among most African Americans, but I am actually surprised that people are
surprised. She is a senior, Caucasian woman
who has lived her entire life in the South…the Deep South…the O-G South. I
honestly don’t know why people wouldn't expect her to say it. She said it happened 20 years ago, and maybe
she is lying. But, I want to give her
props for admitting it at all. Is it
right? No. Does she need to issue an apology? It wouldn’t hurt. But we have politicians, athletes, and Wall Street
investors who lie, steal and cheat every day. They haven’t so much as missed a
good night’s sleep, much less lost their means of income. Wal-Mart bailed on Paula, but is known for
cutting corners and taking advantage of its employees. Who’s worse??</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fight for equality in same-sex marriages is a little
more complicated for me. Whether I agree
or disagree is purely a personal decision. But should we, as a country, let personal preferences affect the way we
govern our constituents? I tend to think
not. Should we deny people the right to get married? I believe there was a time when slaves were
denied the same right. And as for benefits, if you put in, you should get out,
right? If you have been a part of your spouse’s/partner’s
life, you should be given the right to make decisions, make hospital visits and receive death benefits, right? Same-sex marriage is not for me, but neither
is cauliflower. I don’t know if that
means I should keep you from doing what’s best for you. I feel like we, as a
society, are in a tight spot. Last I read, freedom was the premise for the
founding of this country. We can’t stop following
the rules now. But with freedom comes
responsibility. And that’s always the
hard part.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If Paula Deen hasn’t set black folks back 20 years, the Trayvon
Martin murder trial has. A young African-American teen, wearing a hoodie and
walking home from the store is considered to be a suspicious character. Because
of this “unruly behavior,” he is confronted by George Zimmerman. An altercation takes place and Trayvon is
killed. As the mother of two young boys, this scenario bothers me much more
than Paula Deen’s slip of the tongue. When does WHWB, wearing a hoodie while
black, mean you’re a criminal? And the trial is no better. The star witness is a young girl who has a
bad handle on the English language because English is her second/third
language, thanks to Caribbean parents. But the prosecution has no problem
mocking her and putting her on display for the nation to ridicule. Instead of being
a trial about accused killer, George Zimmerman, it has quickly turned into a circus
surrounding Trayvon’s friend. And if we’re not careful, this verdict will be
determined by entertainment value rather than facts.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Indeed, it has been a busy news week. Everything from World
News Tonight to the Wendy Williams Show has had something to say about the hot
topics in the national news. What do you
think about what’s happening? Let me
know.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-57865022109344540392013-05-18T09:46:00.000-07:002013-05-18T09:46:18.041-07:00Public vs. Private: Educating the Jacksons<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8DtwaQTSEYi-NkyYhepGr3nCrlTHVyMtZhxFu3UvfZ3wod6x6S0ta0QsBhnxOYH8umSaiRB9J611zzV_yt_uZg_E_RyPgRrkPlqH6vudArWiE4f_HOqKgkI04idshtqAQQ53BaY0zqH6Z/s1600/Jackson+trio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8DtwaQTSEYi-NkyYhepGr3nCrlTHVyMtZhxFu3UvfZ3wod6x6S0ta0QsBhnxOYH8umSaiRB9J611zzV_yt_uZg_E_RyPgRrkPlqH6vudArWiE4f_HOqKgkI04idshtqAQQ53BaY0zqH6Z/s200/Jackson+trio.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">School Days</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is private school better than public school? Yes and no.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I had my first son, I knew I wanted to go back to work.
First, my then husband and I could never have lived on one salary. But more
importantly, I like being out and about, and an afternoon with Barney was not
my idea of happy hour. So, all of my children have spent time in daycare
centers. However, being a teacher at that
time, I knew they wouldn’t be able to show up to kindergarten without knowing
some A,B, C’S and 1,2,3’s. Therefore, my kiddos began attending a local “church
school” that started in Pre-K and went up to the 8<sup>th</sup> grade. This
began their journey through private school terrain. Honestly, I never intended for them to
continue down this road. The plan was
that the Jacksons would attend this school until they could go to the local
public school. Then, I had dinner with a
long-time friend who suggested I apply my oldest to the private school where
her sons attend. Yeah, right!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Low and behold, “Thing 1” was accepted!! I was completely
shocked. Who knew he was…well, smart. He certainly didn’t demonstrate any form
of real intelligence at home. Anyway, once he was fully engulfed in private
school life, I could see the horizons broadening, the opportunities for him to
see and be involved in a wide variety of activities increasing. I liked it. So
Thing 2 and 3 would follow in his private school footsteps. I liked the idea of expanding their vision of
what they could ultimately achieve in life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know what you’re going to say. I’ve had this argument, I
mean conversation, with many of my friends and family. It’s no secret that private
school tuition is no joke. Monthly
payments for their schooling tip the scales of a balanced monthly budget and
cause many lean days. So why spend the money? Why do this when they could just
go to public school and get an equally good education?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I agree. Public schools provide a great education. The thesis for my Master’s in Education was
on public school versus private school education. The outcome was that no matter where your kid goes
to school, if the parents are involved, the kids would be successful. I believe
that. When I taught 7<sup>th</sup> grade English, those kids whose parents were
always volunteering or fundraiser or visiting or even emailing were more
concerned about their performance. However, they were far outnumbered by
students who didn’t have much parent involvement. Every year, I saw students
who went from being model citizens during the first month of school to becoming
the classroom catastrophe. Not because
that’s who they were, but because that’s who they needed to be to have friends.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Am I saying that private schools don’t have their peer pressures?
No. I see it every day. The pressure to
compete on an economic level is mind-blowing. My kids play soccer with kids who
have private coaches. What the What? They
are in elementary. They play chess with
kids who have private coaches. They have play dates with kids who have “media
rooms “and share vacation stories with kids who travel abroad for spring break.
We went to Home Depot for spring break. I’m not hating…well maybe a little. But
eventually, I know my kids will see they don’t stack up in terms of dollars and
cents. Let’s not even talk about my
fears for them when they reach middle school and high school. I know there are recreational drugs and
alcohol that these kids have access to that I couldn’t even afford to buy! Did
I mention that my two youngest are the only African-Americans in their class? I
know that private schools have their diversity challenges. I’m just hoping the
good outweighs the bad in the long run.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So is private school better than public school? Yes and no.
My decision is that I want my kids to experience the exposure that private
school offers. I realize that exposure
comes at a price. But doesn't</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
everything?<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-8507452419554945052013-05-12T04:39:00.000-07:002013-05-12T04:40:49.752-07:00What I Want for Mother's Day...A Nap!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mother’s Day
is the one day that mom’s get the recognition they deserve. Be it a box of chocolates or a bouquet of
flowers, the world stops and takes notice of the hard work moms put in on a
daily basis. And we love it. We want the
Sunday gospel-jazz-bottomless-mimosa brunch, the dozen long-stemmed roses, and
the tear-jerking Hallmark card to show all of our friends. Am I right, or am I right? Well, when you a
divorced mommy, the list changes a little. The only thing on my list right
now…a nap.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This year,
Mother’s Day falls on daddy’s weekend. So the kiddos will be with their
father. All of my married-with-children
friends were aghast. “You don’t want to be with your kids?” “What will you do?” “Will you be sad?” That
is usually followed up by a litany of invitations to various activities with
their families. I will admit, the first year I was divorced, holidays were
hard. I dreaded the first Christmas without my children. I couldn’t even enjoy
the holiday because I was so overwhelmed with grief. No kids on Christmas?!!
You’ve got to be kidding me? That’s when a mature, aka older, female friend
shared some sage wisdom with me. She
said to take these times to rest and rejuvenate. Being a single mom, I mean and
divorced mom (sorry Toni Williams) is hard work. You are a better mother when you’ve had some
down time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Guess
what. She was right. Because I am in the
fast lane all the time with the kids, I get overheated. And there are some days when I know the kids
can’t stand me because I can’t stand myself. So nowadays when they are away, I take that
time to revive myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I do occasionally go out and
shake a leg (aging myself), but
sometimes I just like to put on what the kids call a night-night shirt, turn on
Law and Order, and just kick back in front of the TV. It’s not exciting, but necessary when you are
the primary caregiver for three little ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So don’t
think I’m crazy when I pass on the Bloody Mary bar or afternoon matinee for
Mother’s Day. I’m just taking a little
breather, and Mother’s Day is the perfect day to do it. Don’t you think?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01383196430027184313noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975853415909763049.post-8071734270329897722013-05-08T09:34:00.000-07:002013-05-08T09:55:08.018-07:00Kids and Kars: The Whole Kit and Caboodle<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
School is almost out, and you know what that means. It’s road trip time! Nothing says summer like
boarding the pets, packing up the kids and hitting the dusty trail to the
nearest family vacation destination. When I was a kid, I considered road trips
an adventure. You never knew what was going to happen. I lived with my grandma
and when Momma Nancy traveled, she packed everything but the kitchen sink. You
had to be prepared. There weren’t any cell phones, only the CB radio. Onstar
wasn’t going to show up if you had a flat.
You had to have all of your tire-changing gear on hand when that Good
Samaritan stopped by to help. Momma
Nancy packed the whole kit and caboodle.
Our car was filled with everything from band-aids to brake fluid. Turns
out, it may be a digital world, but analog tactics still work. Take it from me;
you don’t want to be stranded on the side of the road with children in tow. Be prepared.
Here’s how:</div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span>The first item in your road trip survival kit
should be a fully-charged cell phone and car charger. Cell phones are probably
the easiest way to keep from being stranded. You don’t have to count on smoke
signals (aka-the busted radiator) to tell oncoming traffic that you are in
distress. Help is just a phone call away.
Driving through rural America always makes fun. You lose your signal and
your otherwise reliable tool of communication quickly turns into something
that’s only good for telling time. Just remember. Even if you can’t get service,
you can still call the police. It’s as
easy as 9-1-1.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->No one ever thinks of jumper cables until they
need them. It happens. You are in such a hurry to get your little bundles of
joy out of the car and into bed so you can have a little peace and quiet, you
don’t even notice that little Timmy has turned on the interior light. It’s been
on all night long when you try to start your car the next morning. Click…click. Oh no! Your plans for the best sightseeing
excursion known to man hang in the balance. Never fear! A good pair of jumper
cables can put you on the road again. Don’t be alarmed if you need a new
battery. A drained battery does not regenerate itself like a lizard’s tail. But
every town has a Walmart, right. Just
remind little Timmy of this extra expenditure when he wants the $18 super
freeze pop and stuffed animal at the theme park.</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->One word-Flashlight. Being stranded in the dark is no fun,
especially with children. A flash light
can assist adults in changing a tire, as well as be a keep-the-boogie-man-away
tool for the children. Dual purpose…you
gotta love it.</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Being cold is no fun either. Bring a blanket… or
three. If you’re taking the annual road
trip to grandma’s house for Christmas, it can get pretty chilly on the way. Load
the thermos with hot chocolate and the backseat with Snuggies. This will be the
only time your kids will want to snuggle with each other without it turning
into a wrestling match.</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->My personal favorite is the Fix-O-Flat products.
There I said it, and I’m not ashamed. I can change a tire, I just don’t want
to. This instant tire inflater is quick, easy and will allow you to make it the
nearest gas station. Your kids might even think it’s cool to see the “magic”
that unfolds when you revive the tire.
Most times, someone will take pity on you and pull over to help you
change a tire. But waiting is no picnic. Minutes can seem like hours with
little people who are hungry, have to potty or are “bored.”</div>
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Take a little extra time to pack the right items. It can
save you some heartache on the road. These are just a few tips that could take
the stress out of roadside emergencies. Make traveling with your family and
adventure. Be prepared.</div>
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