Mother’s Day
is the one day that mom’s get the recognition they deserve. Be it a box of chocolates or a bouquet of
flowers, the world stops and takes notice of the hard work moms put in on a
daily basis. And we love it. We want the
Sunday gospel-jazz-bottomless-mimosa brunch, the dozen long-stemmed roses, and
the tear-jerking Hallmark card to show all of our friends. Am I right, or am I right? Well, when you a
divorced mommy, the list changes a little. The only thing on my list right
now…a nap.
This year,
Mother’s Day falls on daddy’s weekend. So the kiddos will be with their
father. All of my married-with-children
friends were aghast. “You don’t want to be with your kids?” “What will you do?” “Will you be sad?” That
is usually followed up by a litany of invitations to various activities with
their families. I will admit, the first year I was divorced, holidays were
hard. I dreaded the first Christmas without my children. I couldn’t even enjoy
the holiday because I was so overwhelmed with grief. No kids on Christmas?!!
You’ve got to be kidding me? That’s when a mature, aka older, female friend
shared some sage wisdom with me. She
said to take these times to rest and rejuvenate. Being a single mom, I mean and
divorced mom (sorry Toni Williams) is hard work. You are a better mother when you’ve had some
down time.
Guess
what. She was right. Because I am in the
fast lane all the time with the kids, I get overheated. And there are some days when I know the kids
can’t stand me because I can’t stand myself. So nowadays when they are away, I take that
time to revive myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I do occasionally go out and
shake a leg (aging myself), but
sometimes I just like to put on what the kids call a night-night shirt, turn on
Law and Order, and just kick back in front of the TV. It’s not exciting, but necessary when you are
the primary caregiver for three little ones.
So don’t
think I’m crazy when I pass on the Bloody Mary bar or afternoon matinee for
Mother’s Day. I’m just taking a little
breather, and Mother’s Day is the perfect day to do it. Don’t you think?
I can relate LaQuenda. I became a single mom about 10 years ago officially. I understand quite time, jazz music and a warm fire place alone. I never imagined my life without a partner. You are blessed that you were able to share custody. My ex wanted no part of raising his own children. He was so obsessed with blaming me and hurting. He won for a long time, I gave him all my power and allowed him to control my emotions. I finally forgave him and in return I was able to forgive myself.
ReplyDeleteMy blessing came in the form of earthly angels who would take the kids for a couple of hours or pay for a spa date for me.
I admire the choice you've made and chosen self care. It makes you no less of a SuperMom!
Thank you so much for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteJust know that your hard work and sacrifice will be rewarded with the love and trust that your children bestow on you. On those days when things don't make sense, I take a breath, remind myself how fortunate I am to have them, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
The destination is a sense of peace. We'll get there someday!
Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a sea shell
ReplyDeleteand gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear."
She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely
off topic but I had to tell someone!
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